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Dana Says
Jack had a fencing ‘tournament’ in late November. I put it in quotation marks because at his age class, they aren’t super serious. It’s more of a fun gathering of fencers. He won all of his bouts but two. One to the girl in second place…and then he lost in the semi-finals to the boy who won. They give medals to the two people who lose in the semi-finals and call it a tie for third 
So proud of him.
Just because he is wearing a mask all of the time, I thought I’d tell you that he is the boy in the white official breeches and the grey shoes
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I recently saw this Ted Talk…that combined with a recent talk with my good friend, Josh Solar, got me thinking. I should make some small changes to embrace gratitude more in my life. So…this morning, I started a project to write little love emails to my friends at the start of every day. I’ll keep you updated…
Dana
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Once a long time ago, I was lucky enough to see Mandy in concert. I didn’t have tickets ahead of time, so I went and stood in the pouring rain in the ‘will-call’ line. I was 4th in line and I kept my fingers crossed that something would open up. Well, it was just a couple of minutes until curtain time and no one had been lucky enough to pick up a seat. It wasn’t looking good…until, a gentleman came outside and said that Mandy saw us all standing in the rain and asked the theatre to create 50 more seats for us. I think it was 50…maybe it was 25…however many it was, it was enough for me to get a seat.
As we were lead into the theatre, we saw that Mandy had already begun. Not only did we see that, but we saw that our seats were ON THE STAGE. I sat in the front row ON THE STAGE while he sang. He played with us. He helped the lady sitting next to me off with her coat while he performed. No joke. It was one of the most amazing performances I have ever seen. And, I have seen a LOT of performances. I will never forget it. Ever. Such a great day.
I saw this interview of him on Q with Jian Ghomeshi. I had to share it(and that little story). I just thought this was one of the most beautiful interviews Jian has ever done. And, that’s saying something…So, take the time to listen to it…
~ Dana
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Sitting and chatting with mom…moments before the sun went down…on his last evening as a 10 year old. It went to fast. Those first ten years.
This is my old soul. My gentle boy. The one who is always ready for a hug and a cuddle. The one who tells the BEST jokes–his sense of humour is KILLER…and it is one of the things I am most proud of about him. He is smart and creative. He’s not a risk taker…but he LOVES to play paintball. His friends tell me that his Minecraft world is UNREAL. He is not just a deep thinker…he is the deepest thinker. Truly. And, being his mom is one of the greatest gifts the universe has sent my way. I know he will move mountains. I can’t wait to see which ones they are.
On this evening in 2002, I had already been in labour for days. It was an epic labour…one of those ones that no one believes you about. I was exhausted, but stubborn. I didn’t want a c-section. I knew that I could wait it out. I thought he would be a girl. A little girl we’d call Lillian. He’d be born on the 26th of the month…just like all the girls in my family. I finally relented and had an epidural so I could sleep. When I awoke, I looked at Bob and asked what time it was. He knew why I was asking. He knew I wanted a little girl so that I could gift my grandmother by naming our first child after her. One that would come so close to her 90th birthday. He looked at me and said 2:00am. I looked at him and said, ‘It’s a boy’…and I was right. He was born at the crack of dawn. I remember the light streaming into the birthing room as he made his entrance to the world. It was a day that lives so vividly in my mind. I loved him then, but now…now it is so much more.
See you in the morning son…you’ll be 11 when the dawn comes.
~ Dana
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‘The fact that my favourite colour now is blue, but I’m still gay is evidence of both my mother’s influence and it’s limits.’
~ Andrew Soloman
I wept while watching this. Simply the best Ted Talk ever.
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A new favourite game. Played with their cousin while at their grandparents lake lot. Thus the smiling and waving child.
Kids are fantastically weird.
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Today would have been my dad’s 69th birthday.
Yesterday was the first anniversary of his death.
Sunday is Father’s Day.
This is officially dad’s week.
I have had a lot of emails, phone calls, messages from people I’m close with and people I hardly know telling me stories of losing their own parents. Not of the actual losing, but of the finding. Finding them in little moments like always noticing when clocks would turn 11:11 because their mother would always say to make a wish when you noticed that. Or, a light flickering off as they made a birthday wish to the sky because they couldn’t make a wish in person…kinda like seeing the deer. For me, that’s how I think of these moments. Seeing the deer. I think I’ve told this story before, but here it is just in case.
I was very close to my grandmother(in case you haven’t read that about me before). When I would go to her tiny home in Swift Current, Saskatchewan to visit her while I was growing up, there was this shelf that took up much of her living room. On that shelf were all the family photographs. The formal wedding portraits, the baby pictures, the favourite images sent from family far and wide. It was a magical spot where you could witness the history of her family in 30 pictures or less. True story…okay, maybe there were more, but I’m gonna guess 30 There were also a few knick knacks scattered amongst the photographs. In particular, there was this set of 3 ceramic deer. They were just always there and I know that all my many cousins and relatives know what I mean about the deer. Well, on the day of Grandma’s funeral in Swift Current, when we went to the graveyard for the graveside services…the yard was filled with deer. Real deer. It stood out as a magical moment on a rather sad and difficult day. It truly felt like she was there waiting for us, telling us that it was okay. It’s going to sound silly, but now from time to time when I see deer I think of her and that she is with me. NOT every time I see deer as I live in Okotoks and there is a town herd that we see ALL. THE. TIME., but sometimes. And, this morning I had an unusual deer sighting. As I was driving down the hill, a deer ran alongside my car. Not in a panicked way as one would expect, but in a peaceful…here I am kind of way. It made me smile and feel that she was here with me in this tough week.
Of course, I know that my dad is here, too. I have had a tough week with a big decision weighing me down and, yesterday I had a moment of clarity as to how we were going to resolve this issue. Yes, it’s not perfect, but it is right. It was like an answer out of the bloom and all of a sudden I felt all right. It wasn’t like seeing the deer, but it was definitely like the clouds parting and a chorus singing ‘hallelujah’ (the Rufus Wainwright version).
This is one of my favourite photographs from my childhood. Almost 39 years ago…Dad and us kids.
Happy Birthday dad 
~ Dana
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